Oblivion
by SuzakuSama
Summary: FFIV: She once thought the party never needed him; she didn't need the party. Slowly, but surely, she had come to another conclusion.


Author's Notes: Birthday gift fic for **ShinakaStar**.

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"Oblivion"

No, not again. This was not happening now, but it is. Obviously there were no such thing as a smooth course of action on this journey. By all means, Rydia should feel betrayed. Her soul is bubbling over with hate. To say she was angry at the Dragoon-turned-traitor once more was an absolute understatement. Flames of pure anger flared up, the same well which she drew forth Titan once upon a time, but not so long ago. Her heart hurt, then and now, from the fury in her body.

All those years of training herself to be a great Summoner and Mage, and she was willing to throw away her discipline for a chance to strike him where the sun never shone with her bare fists. And more and more, till she was satisfied, torrent of emotions slowly abating. She didn't do anything, as she learned to channel her loathing-again, years ago it seemed- into honing the offensive arts: black magic. At the time, it had her name written all over it. It was her calling and she answered.

Hard work, and for what? To get rid of the Archfiends, and have an ally's betrayal? They were so close, so close, which made losing all the more bitter. They were being ambushed and no one saw it coming. Then again, going to the Tower of Babel was about as blatant as a trap as can be. 'No matter, we didn't need him,' she thought. His Dragoon skills were about as great as asset as he was a liability to the party. Forget him.

She didn't need him helping. She was a valuable asset, proving herself when she summoned the Mist Dragon just in the nick of time. The party didn't need him, she can provide all the help. She was fine on her own. Rydia, the little girl who lost everything the night her village burned down, was trained in the Feymarch, home of the Eidolons. She had the potential to be unstoppable, a deadly combination of black magic and summoning. And then, under Asura's tutelage, she honed her skills at the heart of magic itself. They needed her more than she needed them, and it was absolutely exhilaring knowing that. Rubicante was the last one standing, and he didn't stand any chance against her suppressed fury. She never needed some broken Dragoon, a guilt-ridden Paladin, the ever-in-danger damsel White Mage (for why a white mage is necessary when she, Rydia of Mist, held the ability to decimate in the palm of her own hand), and the biggest, insufferable mouth on a certain ninja she had have the displeasure to meet. She was trying, but hate was still in her heart; each release of magic felt liberating, as bolts shot out and scorched the enemies. She would worry about the others as soon as the battle was over.

Aboard the Lunar Whale, Kain said he wasn't under the control of Golbez anymore. He didn't expect forgiveness -and Rydia shall hold true to that-, yet the party forgave him anyways. She was still seething on the inside. 'How dare he just waltz in, say whatever needed to be said, and call it a day,' she thought.

She still hadn't forgiven Cecil at that point, but that can of worms had slowly ebbed to a dull pain. And Edge's behavior is slightly better _now_, after numerous attempts to flirt with her. Fortunately for her, it was not going to happen. Not if she could help it.

It was always about her and her magic. Or so she had thought. But she wouldn't be here without help from Cecil, here being her true birthplace. No matter how strong her magic was, how powerful, how encompassing, it simply wasn't enough against Zeromus. For the first time, in a long time, she was helpless. She felt her mother dying again, felt the flames taking over her village, burning to the ground again. She felt despair, and in her heart, the darkest corner, _he_ was the cause of her pain, and would be for a long time.

However, she didn't know when she had forgiven Cecil. Somewhere in their travels, some mundane happening -but was it really mundane?- took place, and she knew him better. She stopped hating him, for how long she would never be too sure. It...just happened. It could be that he was the hero, and in stories the hero was always likable by the end. She took longer than most to accept it- his guilt, shame, cowardice- as part of his persona.

Slowly, after the final battle, Rydia was restless once again. Even when rebuilding Mist, she had a little pang in her heart that she wasn't so sure to attribute just to her memories. No, it was something else, but she couldn't find the words to it. And so it stayed, until she was invited to certain Baron wedding. They were made for each other, she mused for a moment, and kept on working.

Edge came over as well, a bit earlier than necessary, just to check up on her. Rydia wished she could appreciate the sentiment, if he wasn't so damn forward in his advances. Resisting the urge to roll her eyes at the insufferable Prince of Eblan-for surely he might see it as a compliment- she was short and curt with him. How else but to counter his frivolous words of nothing, with ones laced with silk over steel?

'Oh, would he just give up already!' The proclaimation rang throughout her mind, and finally through her lips when she gave a blatant dismissal to his proposal. Hah! A date with him would be akin to torture.

That night the pang amplified, and now Rydia of Mist was worried.

Come time for Cecil and Rosa's wedding, she was happy for them. She had the pang checked out, but the Baron healers said it was nothing. Otherwise, she felt absolutely fine, good health and all. Perplexing, and she would take time to investigate it fully after the ceremony. For the past two days, she didn't feel anything at all.

Cecil and Rosa took their vows. She congratulated them, wished for long and plentiful well-being, as much as two saviors of the planet can have. It was peaceful having old allies mingle, dance, having fun. No imminent threats, save for avoiding the bouquet as far as possible. The reception was as festive as any other royal event were to be, if not more. Rydia didn't have much experience with balls, galas, anything of the sort-but she had fun. She had a quick dance with Edward, and her joy was heightened when she saw a certain ninja out of the corner of her eye, staring at her. She did dress accordingly.

As the night went on, there it was. She tried pushing it out of her mind, willed it out for a few hours before it grew in intensity and interrupted her dance with Palom, much to his dismay. Then again, Porom was last seen with Palom's ear between her fingers. Perhaps fresh air would do her good as she sort out what was going on with her body.

Never had she felt so out of sync, not even when summoning powerful Eidolons for the first time. She looked around the ballroom, and the only people knew were the allies. There, Cid was laughing at some joke made by a tall gentleman she had never seen before. Cecil and Rosa were nowhere to be found, as expected. Edge was currently dancing with a buxom blonde, and oh!-was just slapped by same blonde. Tough luck, o Prince. Perhaps trying not to feel her up would have helped. Edward was mingling with the musicians in the corner, and was offering to play along with them. Porom was chasing after Palom, causing a ruckus throughout the ballroom. Yang and his wife were to the side, possibly taking a break.

Someone was missing. But who?

Ahh! Her head throbbed. Strange, she didn't drink anything suspicious, but maybe some water...there, that waiter had some glasses and was offering. Just perfect. She went through the list once more...yes, there, accounted for-him!

He wasn't here. That wasn't like him, especially when they all celebrated the end of Zeromus. What about Cecil and Rosa? Didn't both of them notice that he wasn't even there to congratulate them? She scanned around the room, and everybody looked as if they had a great time, laughing joyously, enjoying each other's company. Now her stomach felt if it has plummeted. His oldest friends didn't even remember.

How long had it been since they last seen each other? Why didn't she notice before? It was strange she didn't think about him until this very moment, out by the courtyard. She was fond of this place, where the stars can be seen, the moon as well. She sighed to herself. Rydia had a feeling she knew what was wrong. It was simple, actually.

She missed him. All that time during the journey, she harbored hate towards the Dragoon, and now she'd almost forgotten him. And when she realized she almost did, the pang intensified. Traitor or not, he also fought Zeromus as well. They won, together. And when it was over, she paid no mind to him, didn't care what he did afterwards. She had her village, her legacy to rebuild. Surprisingly, she didn't mind if he showed up right now and asked her to dance.

For the record, she would have accepted the offer in a heartbeat.

'As a friend,' she mused, 'as a friend, and nothing more.'

Or so she thought. The pang lessened a little bit further into the evening.


End file.
